my hang up

People...I feel like I need to get something off my chest.

I have a hang up, and I think hope that if I get it out...this will be a step towards moving past this insanely ridiculous deal I'm struggling with.

Ugh. Here goes.

I have an issue with having people in my house. Dinner's. Social gatherings. Holiday's. I just have problems.

Now, it's not that I don't like people. Quite the opposite! I LOVE entertaining, and genuinely enjoy my company once their here...it's just the whole process leading up to it that puts me in a tizzy. I'm even nervous (like literally breaking out in a sweat) writing y'all this because...well it makes me feel vulnerable as crap, and it's no longer a secret. But I'm puttin' on my big girl panties, and goin' for it.

I don't know why I feel this way. Nick and I were both raised in homes that had an open door policy with all our friends, family, and neighbors. My Mom always had an 8th place setting set at the kitchen table for one of our many friends who stayed over for dinner, and you could always find someone sleeping on the couch on a Friday or Saturday night. We didn't have organized bedrooms (heck there were 7 of us living in a 3 bedroom house) perfectly matched furniture/dishes, or stain free carpet...but our home was always a revolving door open to anyone, and everyone.

Somehow I have lost sight what I knew growing up.

Upon having company I now feel inadequate...like the fact that we have blue paint on our bedroom walls with a champagne/olive bedspread because we changed our mind 4 years ago on paint colors...and still haven't gotten around to fixing it. Or that our dining room table is the only piece of blonde wood currently in our house because I had a thing for blonde wood 7 years ago (and a new dark wood table just ain't in the budget). Or that we have mega crazy cracks all across our ceramic tiled floors. Hello area rugs! Or that our guest bedroom is filled with boxes becuase my dear husband likes to hold on to every blessed thing. I mean really who gives a flying crap?

So there we go. It's out. I have issues, y'all, and I'm really wanting to overcome this. I want my home to be a welcome haven no matter if there are dishes in the sink, or there's 5 pounds of dust on the blinds. That's life, right? I want people to know you will always have a place to crash, and food to fill your belly...because at the end of the day that's all that matters.

People matter. Not things.

So, come on over, and if I haven't invited you yet...just come. I can't promise that you won't have to drink out of a red solo cup, or that you might leave with some Blue Kitty hair on your tush, but I can promise that you are welcome.

Happy Tuesday, friends. I'm grateful for y'all :)

xo!