death by body wash

I decided to half way clean the house last night at 7:45 PM. I'm not sure why I only decided to clean half. Maybe I was feeling lazy? Why not clean the whole thing, and be done? Nope, half way works. So, I opted for a bathroom quickie, rearranged some lamps, vacuumed the den, and mopped the floors without a mop. Not fun. My mop snapped in half 2 weeks ago, and I've put off buying a new one.

I hate mopping and dusting.

I glanced in the master shower. Not bad. So I gave it a few squirts of Clorox, and called it a day. Forget scrubbing tonight.

After this, I decided to take a shower, and snuggle in to watch "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."

Don't judge me.

So I quickly rinsed the shower, and jumped in.

I was on a 4 minute mission. In and out. Multi-task. I suds up my hair, and rinse while scrubbing my face. I squirt in some conditioner, get soap in my eye, flush out the eye-ball, while reaching for the shower brush to comb through the conditioner. I open my poor inflammed eye to see a flipping cockroach just chillin' in his little sauna on the ledge UNDERNEATH my shower brush.

I scream. Talk myself out of fainting. Scream again. Shallow breathing. It was bad.

I can kill just about anything except roaches. They make my cry. Literally.

I had to kill it. What if it was a flying one? Oh gosh, my heart would stop beating, and then who would call 911?? Nick was working till mid-night, and he'd come home to a dead wife in the shower with a flying cockroach in the bathroom. No! I had to find the courage to kill it. Had. To.

Very slowly I grab the huge bottle of Dove body wash (Sam's Club, baby) closed my eyes, and just started slamming the heck out of this roach, while screaming my head off. I'm surprised my neighbors didn't call the police upon thinking a serial killer had broken into my house and was trying to murder me.

4 seconds later the roach is dead, and is in a bunch of little pieces.

I collect myself, turn off the shower, shutter, and smile.

I will never, ever half way clean again. Like ever.

Happy hump day.

xo,
K